Nothingnesx

 Hye :3

I am extremely happy now . Especially Yesterday . Not everybody knows what makes me happy actually ..

5th June : Happy :))

The point is , I'm in love with Nothingnesx now .

Because this thing's jusx have that spell . Magically putting a cheerful smile on my face .

Ha-ha .

Whatever . Oke , about this NOTHINGNESX .

It's actually the kind of feeling when NOTHING makes you feel .

But , here's what i can say about it . Not much , but it's

......... erm , ..

I feel nothing .

It's not right , honestly , but it's not wrong either .

So I don't really feel like I'm doing a huge sin , or a good deed .

Not everybody will like what I did , does , or will do ..

So , it's a nothing . Whatsoever :)

This is my life , my Nothingnesx .

I . MY . ME . MINE .

And I don't give a damn of whatchu hv 2 say about it .

WHATSOEVER .

Lotsa Luv , Hana :D

Toodles !

I'm back !!

Hey :DD

Hana in da house !! Hhe . Lol . It's ben like a thousand million years since I last updated me bloggy .

Gosh ! Only God knows how much I miss blogging .

Forget that , the thing is : I'M BACK !

Ok . There are many things that I wanna share with you peeps .

Erm . Many things happen as the days pass by .

You never realize that you're getting OLDER .

I never realize I'm getting OLDER . And closer to death as well .

Lol . 21st May .

TSK's High Table . My Birthday .

Ok . Now , I'm gonna be HONEST . REAL honest .

I can't believe I'm actually sharing this but ...

What the HELL !? Who EVER cares . Ha-Ha .

Erm . I had been liking a BOY since last year .

I LIKE HIM . And we got close . Maybe , in some people's perspective ,

We're a COUPLE . But .. NO . We're not.

So .. I , sanely is keeping him distant .

And he doesn't seem to mind . He told me he LIKES me .

But I guess : NOT ANYMORE .

So , in that gap of time . I stay UN-liking any breathing male-creature a.k.a any BOY.

But . .

Something came up . And I had this MAJOR CRUSH on this HUMAN .

Well , of course , a BOY .

I'm not a LESBOE , abso-freakin-lutely NOPE .

I LIKE THIS BOY ..

HIM ? What about HIM ? Oh, well .

I, myself didn't get a CLEAR explanation of our non-existing RELATIONSHIP.

Awch . Hurt . Don'tcha think ??

It hurts BAD . Why ??

BECAUSE :

HE lies to me a lot .

HE ignores me all the time .

HE does'nt care about me .

I felt ABANDONED and NEGLECTED by HIM .

HE never minded if I don't if I don't text him back .

HE gets jealous outta NOTHING .

HE always ask me to call him but he never called me, not even once . And we usually hang on the phone for like HOURS in the middle of the night .

And many more JERKY things about him I couldn't explain . Awch .

BUT WE'RE NOT A COUPLE , SO WTH ??

I AM FREE TO DO WTV I LIKE AS I WANT IT .

So, my crushie , ILIKEYOU !! Hhe .

Lotsa Luv , Toodles !!

Meet F.R.I.E.N.D.S :DD

Hey peeps ! 

Just a short note .

Going bak to hostel . Meet up with dormates , classmates, batchmates, seniors, teachers, wardens, BESTIES !!

Helooo hostel, Today .

Izzah Myra ! Ika ! Mye ! CT Nade ! Sis Fyza , Sis Nabz , Sis One , Sis Dyra  ! Erhemm2 . DD Misx uue muchh ! Hhe :DD

Bak2Scho0l

Heyy there strangers and un-strangers .

Today, I'm giong back to school . Sabah Science Secondary School . 

Sekolah Budak Pandai . . ( awch ! )

Yeah . 

Try'na let myself think rationally about my real purpose of going to school .

My parents wont send me there to cry and beg to come home because I don't like it there ,

They send me there to STUDY .

So, a reminder to us all .

Don't think too -cincai- about school . Especially barding school .

Just do what we're obliged to do . Do what is right .

Change the ultimate perspective to : I am RIGHT to be here .

Instead of ' THIS PLACE IS HELL !! '

I did thought of it that way , but I'm kinda sorry for so .

Now , I'm trying to LIKE school . Whatsoever :)

Hha . So gotta go packing . Haven't packed anything yet . 

Ehhe :p BTW, I stayed at Ika's house . Hhe .

Toodes . Muahx !

Love always , Hana .

Gud Girl

Heyy . Erm . I Misx My Home :(

Mama , Pa . I misx you both so muchhh . Ain , Didi , Lia , Ely , Baby . Misx you all too :(

To my love at home .

Ma , Pa . Hari ne Kaknong rindu btul sma kmu d ruma . Sedih btul . Rsa cm namaw tggal asrma lae . Lae sdih , klw d ruma . . Stiap kli balik , msty gaduh kn ? Bole ka kta nda pyah gaduh lae ? Penat swa Kaknong gaduh , Ma, Pa, Adik2 Kaknong . 

I'm the first born . I hv my responsibilities to my family . But why can't I just do it ? 

I now, LIVE at SMESH . Gosh .

Ma, Pa . I wanna make you proud and happy . I want you to smile watching me grow up to be a successful daughter of yours . I don't want you to cry watching me grow up to be a damn spoiled animal . You can give me EVERYTHING I want . But you always tell me you can't and you APOLOGIZES to me for that . WHY Pa ? I know . Because you want me to be independent and move on alone .

Because someday you might go and leave me ALONE .

Because one day GOD may take you away from me . . 

Because NOTHING last forever .

Because you LOVE me .

I'm sorry. . . . . 

I do bad things to you . I do not deserve you both as my parents . I'm grateful enough I was born . You sacrifice everything for us .

And I am grateful ALLAH still let me breathe .

I can still make you happy :)

I can still CHANGE . 

I want to be a GOOD GIRL .

I want to study and make you proud .

I don't want to care about other people's opinion about me .

I will never bring shame to you . 

I'll take care of myself, my sisters, and YOU BOTH .

I'll make you happy :) I Promise .

Ma, I understand you A-Z . And I love you for being different than other moms . You are my mother and I love you for that . 

I have the BEST Ma I could have . 

I Miss Home :'(

At school ,

I will LEARN . Learn to make you proud .

Learn to stay out of trouble .

Learn to be a GOOD GIRL .

Ma, Pa . Thank you . ILY ! 143 :DD

Erm . My Opinion About Friendship .

Friends are the ones who comfort you when ur sad .

Advice u if u do wrong .

Nver wanted to hurt you .

Tell you to do what you hv to .

Wants ur honest words and opinions .

Makes you smile when they smile at u .

Always be there for you and support u when ur right .

Makes u realize ur sins .

Are happy too if ur happy even they dun hv any connection to ur happiness .

Always lend their shoulder for u to cry on .

You need the the most no matter whenever .

Always love you .

And nver wanted to be BACKSTABBED .

But , us human need to understand a few things about friends .

F.R.I.E.N.D.S

• Sometimes they need space of their own because of some reasons that MAY be Embarrassing, Hurtful, Shameful . etc .
• Wish u could be a better person . Together , moving on to the future :D
• Make mistakes that may be HARD for u to forgive . And they always wish u would smile and forget about it .
• Keeps secrets away from u . Do u realize that it could be bad, awful secrets about you, they just aren't ready or brave enough to tell u wat others (backstabbers) speak about you . BECAUSE they love you and they can never hurt you .
• It takes time for them to heal from heartbreak . Especially the ones u made to them .
• Sometimes , they can be obsessed about stuff u don't like . eg . BOYS , ARTISTS , DOLLS , SONGS . etc . So just live with it .
• There are days that they can be GONE . Meaning , they can be different than they used to . When those days come, u just have to be patient and wait until they're ok and back again . 
• People are people and sometimes we CHANGE . Don't leave them LOST . Guide them to a better state .

S0e , always smile and think positive .

L.O.V.E ur friends .

NEVER BE A BACKSTABBER .

NEVER SHIT - TALK .

Accept them for what they are .

Friends Are Special and Precious .

So , stay with them as long as u're BREATHing .

FRIENDS DO UPLIFT THE SOUL  :D

p.s . u never know good things are special , not after they are GONE .

Miahaha !

Yaww .

This is something crazy . Not doing my work but blogging . Ahha ! Lolz .

Erm . Here's a song I'd like to share with y'all ! Just the lyrics laah . Hhe :)

Loving It ! xoxo .

I'm so glad you made time to see me
How's life? Tell me, how's your family?
I haven't seen them in a while

You've been good, busier than ever
We small talk, work and the weather
Your guard is up, and I know why

Because the last time you saw me
Is still burned in the back of your mind
You gave me roses, and I left them there to die

So this is me swallowing my pride
Standing in front of you, saying I'm sorry for that night
And I go back to December all the time

It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine
I go back to December, turn around and make it alright
I go back to December all the time

These days, I haven't been sleeping
Staying up, playing back myself leaving
When your birthday passed, and I didn't call

Then I think about summer, all the beautiful times
I watched you laughing from the passenger side
And realized I loved you in the fall

And then the cold came, the dark days
When fear crept into my mind
You gave me all your love, and all I gave you was goodbye

So this is me swallowing my pride
Standing in front of you, saying I'm sorry for that night
And I go back to December all the time

It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine
I go back to December, turn around and change my own mind
I go back to December all the time

I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile
So good to me, so right
And how you held me in your arms that September night
The first time you ever saw me cry

Maybe this is wishful thinking
Probably mindless dreaming
But if we loved again, I swear I'd love you right

I'd go back in time and change it, but I can't
So if the chain is on your door, I understand

This is me swallowing my pride
Standing in front of you, saying I'm sorry for that night
And I go back to December

It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine
I go back to December, turn around and make it alright
I go back to December, turn around and change my own mind
I go back to December all the time, all the time